Trauma Lives in Our Bodies
“Every one of us is trying to find our true home. Some of us are still searching. Our true home is inside, but it’s also in our loved ones around us. When you’re in a loving relationship, you and the other person can be a true home for eachother” – Thich Nhat Hanh.
Sometimes when I watch my children, I try to remember what it’s like to be small. When my 3 year old stares at me with wide eyes as I make a passing remark, I fail to recognise the magnitude of each word in their world. Their impression of the world is shaped by and within relationships with those around them, particularly primary caregivers. Thankfully, we can be ‘good enough’ parents.
But how can one’s childhood, particularly a childhood exposed to traumatic experiences, imprint on one’s adult self?
Recently I watched a fascinating documentary series by Dr. Gabor Mate entitled “The Wisdom of Trauma”. In it, Dr. Mate spoke about how diagnoses such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) (and possibly Autism, Alcoholism and Borderline Personality Disorder) can “mask” a trauma diagnosis.
The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s) study documented that early traumatic events can largely contribute to poor physical and mental health outcomes into adulthood. Interestingly, all adverse childhood experiences include experiences within relationship: including emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, household substance abuse and mental illness or divorce amongst others. The ACE study demonstrated that ACE’s are extremely common.
As humans living in this life, we are all likely to have encountered one or two of these adverse experiences in childhood.
But interestingly, the higher one’s ACE score, or the greater one’s exposure to these events in the early years of life, the greater impact on health into adulthood. The biological response to trauma and stress in childhood affects health and well-being well into adulthood and can lead to disease, disability, neurodevelopmental impacts, social / emotional and cognitive impacts, as well as even early death. Early exposure to trauma impacts organ systems, the neuroendocrine system and the genetic system in a complex interrelated way.
This study does not include the additional effects of intergenerational trauma and the compounding impacts of systemic oppression on health outcomes. Recently I attended a lecture series for psychotherapy training on the Deep Roots of Trauma. In it, we learned about how enduring unprocessed relational wounds are encoded in implicit or unconscious memories. For example, a childhood of fear and shame without a caring figure or solution naturally creates defences of avoidance, immobility and fight or flight responses of the nervous system. These unprocessed memories live within the body as sensations and emotions that are unconsciously activated well into adulthood.
In the context of trauma, this helps shift from a medical model of symptoms, or assessing “what’s wrong with you?” to acknowledging rather, “what happened to you?” AND how your body learned to adapt to these events.
There is no one way to foster healing.
Experiences live in the body and nervous system. A journey of healing might account for the subtle and varied ways in which the body speaks and the nuanced complexities of the nervous system which tell a story about how one learned to adapt and survive within early relationships. These experiences are living, breathing, moving, interrelated systems of thoughts, memories, emotions and sensations and as such, healing is not a straightforward, linear process.
This provides hope that healing can happen on many levels. Part of that journey might include finding ways to feel safe both inside ones self and within relationships with others.
Felitti, M. D., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, M. D. et al (1998) 'Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study' American Journal of Preventative Medicine.